Discover and connect with what truly matters to you.
By Megan Dalla-Camina
Why does purpose matter? When we are aligned with our purpose, it becomes our North Star—our guiding light through the ups and downs of life. It keeps us connected to what truly matters, whether that’s our careers, communities, families, or health. It’s the thread that weaves meaning and fulfillment into our daily lives.
But too often, the paradoxes of power and societal expectations that I write about in my book Women Rising convince us that purpose isn’t for us. That it’s too lofty, too unattainable, or simply not meant for women like us. And when our inner critic chimes in with its relentless doubts like “Stay in your lane. Don’t dare to dream too big,” it’s easy to get stuck.
Yet, deep inside, there’s an energy stirring. A quiet knowing that whispers, There’s something more for you.
You don’t have to wait for a lightning-bolt moment or a radical life change to wake up to your purpose. Instead, purpose is something you can gently discover, build, and nurture over time.
Here’s a three-step process to help you demystify purpose and start building a life that aligns with your true self.
Step 1: Demystify the ‘Struck by Purpose’ Myth
We often think purpose strikes like a flash of lightning—a single, dramatic moment of clarity. But for most of us, purpose is a journey, not a revelation. It’s something we uncover through reflection, exploration, and lived experience.
Purpose doesn’t need to be grand or world-changing. It’s deeply personal and can be as simple as nurturing your family, contributing to your community, or finding joy in your work.
Take time to look inward. As Carl Jung said, “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.” Purpose is not about looking outward for answers but connecting with what resonates deeply within.
Practical Tip: Start a purpose journal. Reflect on moments of joy, fulfillment, or connection. Over time, patterns will emerge to guide your next steps.
Reflection Questions:
- What activities make you lose track of time?
- What aligns most with your values and passions?
- How can you incorporate more of these into your daily life?
Step 2: Follow the Breadcrumbs
Think of building your purpose as following a trail of breadcrumbs. Each breadcrumb—an experience, curiosity, or passion—is a clue leading you closer to your true calling. Purpose isn’t a grand leap; it’s constructed through small, consistent steps. Even the smallest spark of curiosity or excitement can be a breadcrumb guiding you forward.
Barbara Fredrickson’s research shows that positive emotions broaden our awareness and encourage exploration, building the foundation for purpose over time.
Practical Tip: Explore something new that excites or intrigues you. Attend a workshop, start a side project, or have a conversation with someone you admire. These breadcrumbs may lead to unexpected and fulfilling paths.
Reflection Questions:
- What are you curious about right now?
- What small steps can you take to explore that curiosity?
- Is there a breadcrumb you dropped in the past that’s worth picking up again?
Step 3: Navigate Purpose With Resilience and Grit
The journey to purpose is rarely smooth. It’s often filled with roadblocks, self-doubt, and societal pressures. But these challenges are opportunities for growth.
Psychologist Angela Duckworth defines grit as a combination of passion and perseverance toward long-term goals. By cultivating grit, you can push through fear, uncertainty, and the inevitable setbacks along the way.
Practical Tip: Create a “Grit Map.” Write down your long-term purposeful goals, the steps needed to achieve them, and strategies to overcome fears or obstacles. Remember, persistence is key.
Reflection Questions:
- What fears or doubts are holding you back from pursuing your purpose?
- What small, consistent actions can you take to build confidence and resilience?
- How can you reframe challenges as opportunities for growth?
Purpose Is Built, Not Found
Purpose isn’t something you stumble upon. It’s something you build, piece by piece, over time. It’s about connecting the dots between what you do and why it matters, both to yourself and the world around you.
As you embark on this journey, embrace it with curiosity, patience, and an open heart. Follow the breadcrumbs, overcome roadblocks with resilience, and allow yourself to evolve.
Your purpose is uniquely yours to discover and create. And as you do, you’ll find that living with intention brings richness, depth, and meaning to your life.
Megan Dalla-Camina is the founder and CEO of Women Rising.
Originally published at Psychology Today
