By Tim Wilson
I recently watched Mr. & Mrs. Smith on the free streaming website Plex, starring Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. While watching the movie, I realized how complex love can be. How little most of us know about what love is! Or what are the determining factors that influence the phrase we call falling in love? In this movie, it was clearly shown how two adults who think they are in love and are good enough to take the relationship to the ultimate level of marriage can be far from it. Though it was a movie, it mimicked what normally happens in real life. As we know, art is often derived from true life experiences, and nowadays our daily decisions are influenced by what we see in the movies or social media posts.
The movie—Mr. & Mrs. Smith metamorphosed from being a movie to a real-life relationship and marriage that produced 3 biological children and 3 adopted children. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt got married in real life. It was as if Brad and Angelina were playing out what would eventually happen to them in real life. This is because they fell in love on the set of the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith in 2006 and got married in 2014. By 2016, they had filled for one of the most bitter divorces in recent times. The divorce proceedings that started in 2016 ended in 2024. The more I investigated the details of their love and eventual marriage, the more I concluded that love, looks, and luck are never enough in the decision of who to spend the rest of your life with or a considerable time of your life with.
Most men’s and women’s first point of call in their decision to get involved with someone is their looks. This is closely followed by whether this person desires them or they desire this person—which can be summed up as satisfying the desire to love and be loved. A potential partner who has qualities that members of our social network approve of is also a great contributor to our decision-making process of who should be our Mister or Miss Right. In the case of Angelina and Brad, the desirable qualities that usually make most of us conclude if the guy or gal is the one were present. Both are good-looking, were apparently in love with each other, and met most, if not all, of the qualities their social network considers desirable.
Notwithstanding all these attributes, as we have come to know, the qualities were not good enough to sustain the marriage. So, before you get serious with anyone in this time and age. We should consider these attributes in this person:
1. Substance Use and Abuse—These days, one of the greatest influences that can make or mar any relationship is the use or abuse of normal or hard drugs. Alcohol and marijuana can be considered normal drugs with devastating effects in most relationships because of their ability to heighten an underlying trait that is a red flag. Someone struggling with anger management can become a monster with the use of alcohol, marijuana, or other hard drugs.
2. Breadwinning – Money issues in any relationship cannot be overemphasized. A partner who is not hardworking and is not serious about his or her financial situation or standing is a big red flag because money issues as basic as food, clothing, and shelter cannot be excused.
3. Self-control – Self-control is the hallmark of maturity. And if you are not mature, you have no business getting into a long-term relationship. You should use this time of your life to develop a talent, build a career, or become an expert in a field of endeavor. While doing this, you are also working on your weaknesses and shortcomings to be the best version of yourself who can also attract the best partner for you.
From the look of things, it seems Brad and Angelina were carried away by their looks, the fact that they felt they were in love, and couldn’t believe their luck of starring in a movie together after probably admiring each other for years.
If you are about to decide who to spend a considerable amount of time with or the rest of your life with, know that love, looks, and luck are not good enough. You must do the due diligence of checking this person out with regard to substance abuse, breadwinning, and self-control. Self-control is particularly important because someone who can control themselves can most likely overcome most, if not all, of their shortcomings. So, choose wisely, because the outcome of prevention is better than the management of the situation or a cure.
